People say they do things because they make decisions about things.
This is not true.
People often get impressions about things, usually unconciously and then make decisions with those impressions weighting the scale down. It's why a company will decide that red is a much better color for a product package than blue and they might spend a whole lot of money determining this. This is why being yourself if you just naturally have the wrong body language doesn't work. Also, only be yourself if yourself isn't too aggressive or opinionated. I can't generally be a lot of the mes that are in my head, when first meeting people. I have to be the friendly, bland me that doesn't overstep. That's professional me, not actually me.
People also say to treat others as you would wish to be treated.
That may be true, but only if you have common expectations.
If you're a person who likes having long conversations about lint or, I don't know, dog breeding and wouldn't mind having them with a complete stranger that phrase doesn't completely apply to you.
Apparently you stay verrrry superficial with initial reactions to find out what way the other person wants to be treated. It has nothing to do with how you want to be treated, it's all them.
I know the phrase often means to be nice but nice doesn't mean the same thing to everyone.
I wish someone had told me that a long, long time ago. It would have saved me some trouble.
This applies to book writing because, for one thing, shiny covers are important, regardless of if they quite match the book. It's also important because writing a book in such a way that, despite any mistakes, the reader likes it because of content they identify with, might be a very good thing. I'm not sure how to do it yet but I am working on it. I know romance novels use formulas for such a purpose. Describing an every-woman main character is a thing, though what you think appeals to everyone can cause some to reject her completely.
It's food for thought, anyway. At least it is for me.