Friday, July 25, 2014

Wordy Day, Control

Do you ever feel like everybody is staring at you? In my case, I think it's true.
I do stare at people I'm vaguely interested in, though. Perhaps they got it from me. That doesn't explain everybody else.

You ever feel tired, even when you've gotten a lot of sleep? I do. I think I still need to make up about a week's worth of sleep.
I would really like it if I could write much again. I don't feel much. I think my synapses are fried, or frozen. I have been getting really outbursty. That might suggest that with the improved sleep I've been getting the synapses are thawing out and being very cranky about it.

I am just so tired of the fact that most people I know really don't much care what I do.
It's disconcerting for someone who came from a somewhat neglectful background.
I don't like it.
Even though I am used to it.
I do have people who care about me but they just don't do it the way I want them to.
My characters don't do things the way I want them to either.
It's almost as if....
As if I am not in complete control.
I don't like it at all.
If I'm not in control, then things can happen.
Bad things
Bad, bad things
Even good things can be bad if you don't know they're coming.
Anxiety reigns
 
Chaos is just another word for the world's fondness for disturbing a train of thought. (Guess who was just interrupted? :)

(Edit. I read a depression book. I'll tell you if it takes. It's all common sense stuff but the examples really helped me gain perspective which is something just relying on common sense does not do.)

Might be a bit better.
We'll see.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Announcing, VAMPIRE GIRL!

Do you know that I once wrote a story about an insane vampire, who looked like a child, and was obsessed with a character? Imagine that. It's never been done before, right? Well, she's special. She had good quirks. I'm good at quirks.

Did you know that the insane vampire was part of a book that was about a slightly more sane vampire who worked in a shitty fast food joint and then ran off when a vampire showed interest in her? She's weiiiiiird. She's also not really a vampire. Maybe I shouldn't have said that, but really, the book was okay, I think. I liked it, but I don't think there's anything wrong with just posting the bits and pieces I have here and perhaps sticking them together with a bit of particularly gluey prose.

This is the introduction of the beginning of my posting of ;Vampire Girl! (Because I had no knack with titles, still don't, really)

There might be some alternate versions that get posted alongside the originals. I was in high school. What sounded coooool then is more obviously a bit cliche now.

So, I hope you'll enjoy Vampire Girl

It will start being released beginning of August, after I sort through eighty files with similar titles. (I do that.) and have something to show for it. Hopefully my memory is right and there's more than a couple of tea stained sheets of paper with doodles on them.

Cheers

Vampire Girl, The First

So here's the beginning I started with, more or less. Note the somewhat stilted narrative. 

The vampire was more ravenous than she had ever been. The hunger ate its way through her stomach and up her trachea as if what blood still in her had become acid and was melting her body to find a way out.
She bit, fed and soon after loathed herself for her weakness.

She was in a small room with soft colors and a little white dresser. In the corner was a red, race car bed. The air smelled of citrus fabric softener and baby powder. Neither was enough to cover up the meaty tang which soaked the air. In her arms lay a little body dressed in pajamas and with his limp head resting against her chest so that as she moved his wispy blond hair fluttered. The little planes on his pajama shirt were flying in a red sky. She could see that lower down the sky was blue. The red was his blood, still dripping from his neck.


She ripped a bit of blanket off and pressed it up against his neck. There was still time to fix this. She concentrated and began to rub.